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My entire journey with weight

Posted 4 Months ago by BlueCrystal

Not sure if anyone here still remembers me but hey it’s BlueCrystal!

For fifteen years of my life I was thin and in great shape. The next fifteen I’ve been struggling with weight and weight gain. It all started fifteen years ago when I had my first (and very severe) manic episode that lasted a few weeks. I was then heavily medicated and my weight before it all was 115lbs. That next year I gained about 70lbs. I then went to college and lost 20lbs but they whenever life got stressful I would gain every pound I lost.

Years later I saw a new psychiatrist who promised this new medication would not interfere with my weight. I then gained an additional 40-50lbs weighing around 230lbs. I became very depressed and unhappy with my body. Years later I moved to Florida for school and somehow in that year lost those 30lbs and I was 200lbs. Then I decided “no more meds for me!” because I wanted to shed the weight but without medication I become very manic, delusional, and even psychotic but I took the risk. The next 8 months I lost about 50ish lbs and went down to around 150lbs. I was very proud of myself but then the mania hit hard and I was hospitalized four times in four months, one of them for a full month. The full month hospitalization gave me heavy duty drugs and I gained everything back and went up to 200lbs. Slowly I gained another 20 to become at 220lbs in May of 2020. I became very unhappy with the way I looked and at how unhealthy I was being and so I took major initiative.

I then went on a diet and made sure I was walking each week. Now we are in February 2021 and I am down to 188lbs. Lost 32lbs so far on my own without the help of surgery or meds. I plan to reach 145lbs in a year or so. I do plateau every so often which is why it’ll take some time. I look better now and feel better just have to keep moving forward. Weight gain because of taking medications that are needed for stability really really REALLY sucks, however, if you are dedicated in making some changes and stay consistent even if you gain or plateau you can do it and eventually reach your goal! At least, that’s what I’ve learned. My goal is to be healthy for my body and to look the way I want to for myself.

There are 19 Replies


Nice to see you blue crystal.

Congrats on the weight loss. It is no easy feat to lose weight and an even harder feat to keep it off.

I went from 250lbs to 205lbs in about 6 months. Diet, exercise and tapeworms from being a new country can do that to you. (well Im kidding about the tapeworms part)

Sadly since the pandemic started Ive gained 10-15lbs. I started running again and have to watch my diet. (mostly for things that can flare up my heart burn)

4 Months ago
S.O.H.
 

I'm sorry you have such side effects to deal with. I take a few brain meds myself.

Weight has always been an issue for me. I got to 388lbs at one point. After gastric sleeve surgery and all the work that goes with it I got down to my high school wrestling weight of 225lb. But I became part of the 2% of surgery recipients who become suddenly and strongly alcoholic. Luckiy I've been sober for 3 yrs now. The pandemic situation has allowed me to go back up to ~260lbs. I'm currently working on chipping away at that but I had a big seizure 6 wks ago and threw out my back. I'm now on anticonvulsants (I apparently have a benign intercranial lipoma)

4 Months ago
Tek Shmansen
 

I was once prescribed Desyrel.
At that time I weighed 175 pounds.
I had to take Desyrel with food because it nauseated me on an empty stomach.
So because of that medication I started eating when I wasn’t hungry.
It also had the side-effect of making me fall asleep at the wheel in traffic; and of gaining more weight if I ate the same amount, or losing less weight if I exercised the same amount.
Once my weight got up to 220 pounds I started experiencing morbidities due to my obesity.
Long story short I got my pshrink to take me off Desyrel.
The trigger was that it also messed with my memory. Once I realized I couldn’t remember whether or not I’d already had my dose I just refused to keep taking it.
...
For decades after that I tried unsuccessfully to lose the weight.
I didn’t mind looking fat as long as I didn’t have any morbidities related to the obesity.
But between high blood pressure and high cholesterol and high triglycerides and pre-diabetic “metabolic” syndrome “X” and eventually diabetes type 2 and a heart attack and coronary artery disease, eventually I had a “sleeve gastrectomy” stomach-shrinking operation,
Suddenly all the work managing my diet and exercise started to pay off.
But I had to buy new clothes because nothing I’d bought when I was fat would stay on me.

Anyway I still have diabetes type 2.
I’ve had two balloon angioplasties and three stents placed.
My cardiologist seems pleased nothing’s getting worse.
Managing my diabetes has gotten more complicated. I have to take insulin now; plus I have to manage my thyroid at the same time, and anything that helps with thyroid fights anything that helps with diabetes, and vice-versa.

4 Months ago
chiarizio
 

I remember you! (This is Laxan--don't know if you remember me.)

I started running this past August and lost a lot of weight. But I stopped when it got too cold and have gained weight back. I plan to jump back into it once it warms up, and join a YMCA during the cold seasons once the pandemic ends so I can keep up running and staying in shape.

4 Months ago
Alan
 

I remember Laxan; afraid I don’t remember Alan, but hi!
I quit losing once the combination of quarantine and self-isolation and “bad” weather made me stay inside.
Or, rather, discouraged me from doing as much outside for as long or as often,

But fortunately I haven’t started re-gaining!

4 Months ago
chiarizio
 

Same exact issues. I have had weight problems most of my life and got that way due to those pills they gave to kids who acted out. It made me eat and eat causing me to gain weight. I am facing issues due to weight and am going through weight loss surgery, but it is a process. It's not a quick fix and I need to change some habits now. I am very sedentary. I don't exercise at all and eat like shit. I am picky as all get out and don't eat veggies.

So yeah, I need to fix this shit...but it is hard when you face low back pain due to my weight and such.

4 Months ago
RikaxNipah
 

That's an rollercoaster story! I am glad you have things under your control now. Your mental health is important and it should come first. I am discovering the frustrating battle of having something working against weight loss. This is the first time I've ever needed hormonal birth control and it's made losing baby weight from back-to-back pregnancies difficult. Along with a couple other issues leaving me reaching for convenience meals and unable to exercise. It really sucks. I have done a change in diet in the past with success, I just need the motivation to do it again. No exercise needed.

4 Months ago
ravenspirit
 

@RikaxNipah:

So yeah, I need to fix this shit...but it is hard when you face low back pain due to my weight and such.


It’s easier to do in the water. Do you have a swimming pool you can use? A heated one is better but not necessary. I realize the public ones are probably closed during the pandemic, but maybe there’s a private one that you can safely use? Chest-deep is probably deep enough.

I am facing issues due to weight and am going through weight loss surgery, but it is a process. It's not a quick fix and I need to change some habits now. I am very sedentary. I don't exercise at all and eat like shit. I am picky as all get out and don't eat veggies.


Insurance companies made my baryiatric surgeon’s patients document their attempts to control their problems pre-surgery for an average of six months. Some, like me, only needed to do it for three months (in my case because I had four doctors agreeing I was a good candidate because they had all been treating* me for a decade); some had to do it for a year. Our surgeon said he knew we had all been doing everything we could short of surgery for years, but most of us hadn’t been documenting any of it.
*(And my insurance company had been paying them and were in favor of whatever might make me need less treatment!)

4 Months ago
chiarizio
 

It’s easier to do in the water. Do you have a swimming pool you can use? A heated one is better but not necessary. I realize the public ones are probably closed during the pandemic, but maybe there’s a private one that you can safely use? Chest-deep is probably deep enough.

Yep, I have a swimming pool here and even did physical therapy. I felt PT didn't work much at all. It did for a little bit, but just stopped. I did the exercises they asked of me, but admit I quit going.

Insurance companies made my baryiatric surgeon’s patients document their attempts to control their problems pre-surgery for an average of six months. Some, like me, only needed to do it for three months (in my case because I had four doctors agreeing I was a good candidate because they had all been treating* me for a decade); some had to do it for a year. Our surgeon said he knew we had all been doing everything we could short of surgery for years, but most of us hadn’t been documenting any of it.

Yes, I am required to go through a 6 month weight management program. I have to get other stuff done too as well. I was told 6 months anyway, but some insurance companies can require only 3.

I am open to discussing this and such on Discord or wherever too.

4 Months ago
RikaxNipah
 

As mentioned I got the sleeve if anyone has questions about that.

4 Months ago
Tek Shmansen
 

It would be smart to lose weight - The Chinese Flu mostly kills those that are obese

3 Months ago
Acca Larentia
 

Fuck your racist bullshit

3 Months ago
Tek Shmansen
 

@Tek Shmansen:
You wrote:
As mentioned I got the sleeve if anyone has questions about that.

1. Does it seem to be working out satisfactorily?
2. Were any hardships harder than expected, or longer-lasting than expected?
3. Were anythings you were warned about actually easier than you were warned?
4. Any unexpected benefits?
5. Is there anything in particular you’d like to tell us about, or you’re surprised we haven’t asked about?

3 Months ago
chiarizio
 

1) Yes in that it really helped me "reset" and start my appetite and eating habits over. Going into and coming out of surgery I had to do a liquid diet which really helped as well. The sleeve is a tool which only does its job if you put in the work. It can stretch back out and undo everything if you just go back to eating-disorder-habits.

2) YES. I would never recommend this surgery lightly. On the lighter end of side-effects I lost the taste for several foods: tuna, celery, and broccoli. They taste and smell awful now whereas before surgery they were favorites. I've mostly reclaimed broccoli but if I don't prepare it correctly y just throw it away. On the darker side of side-effects, I was fast-tracked to alcoholism. Happens to about 2% of all gastric surgery patients. Luckily now I'm 3yrs sober. Fuck it was hard though. Still is.

4) People don't stare at me at restaurants and buffets any more.

5) I'll need to dedicate time to this answer so I'll get back to it.

Thank tou for asking!

3 Months ago
Tek Shmansen
 

@Tek:
Is it time to get back to us yet?
Maybe not.

2 Months ago
chiarizio
 

I forgot to think about #5, sorry man. Lot going on.

I guess one thing is: get used to extra skin. And like it can get pinched easily. Even into larger zippers.

I'd say the biggest thing is to really balance your choices carefully before getting this surgery. Is it worth completely changing your life? If it saves/extends your life, my answer was yes. But the stomach lining produces a lot of hormones and enzymes which never quite get right after surgery (see fast-tracked alcoholism). And I think there's a bit of a mind fuck that happens once a lot of the weight is gone. I literally didn't recognize the face on the mirror. And more feelings akin to that. Like a weird partial reset of self.

2 Months ago
Tek Shmansen
 

@Tek:
Oh! I had some of the same, and some similar.

2 Months ago
chiarizio
 

@chiarizio what about you? Any stuff to share? Anything you didn't see mentioned?

2 Months ago
Tek Shmansen
 

Bad stuff:
* kidney stones requiring driving to the ER
* constipation bad enough to require an ambulance ride
Turns out these are known correlates to the surgery that somehow escaped my attention before I had it!

Good stuff: Suddenly all those frustratingly unproductive efforts to control my obesity started to pay off in real time!

Weird shit: After recovering from surgery I liked to hang out at coffee places like Biggby’s and Panera’s and Starbuck’s. That turned out to be a hard habit to control and also hard to keep it from interfering with my health-improvement plans. Then my sister got me a Keurig coffee-maker. Making my own coffee, like cooking my own meals, turned out to be very helpful in taking control of my diet!

Things that happened just like they said but I didn’t like them while they were happening:

  • Ice chips only. Then clear liquids only. Then liquids only. Then soft foods only. Then gradually reintroducing a regular diet.
    All lasted exactly as long as they said. Hard to be patient anyway!

  • All sorts of dietary supplements are no longer optional. I’ll need them for the rest of my life now.

  • It took quite a while to be able to exercise as much as I should, especially without supervision.
    Just like they said. Hard to be patient nevertheless!

    .....

    Related surprises:
    Self-help groups of fellow patients are surprising resources for hints and techniques and information and just material help that I didn’t know I’d ever find! Like, take a sandwich with me so I won’t fall too far off the wagon if I get hungry away from home; and where to find different flavors of balanced diets; etc.

    Also great for attitude adjustment! One day when a cold rain was falling I dressed up in rain gear atop cold weather gear and went out for my morning walk. I walked maybe a quarter of my usual distance and went back inside discouraged and disappointed in myself. When I told my online self help group about it they were very impressed with me for walking at all in that weather! They made me feel a lot better about myself.

  • 2 Months ago
    chiarizio
     

    Reply to: My entire journey with weight

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