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Science, Math, & Technology

Borderline personality disorder

Posted 8 Months ago by tnu

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20370237

Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. It includes self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships.

With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.

Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age.

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I've been feeling a looot of this and I'm startign to see it as ty ing in to my fear of death, this sense that I won't exit anymroe and jsut be repalced by soemthign else sharing my same subjective experiences with my passions and drives and evyerhting else jsut being replaced by some disgustign THIGN. I wish to defeat that thing and stop it from replacing me.

There are 16 Replies


So your fear is that there's going to be a zombie apocalypse?

Not sure I follow at all. What replaces you when you're dead???

8 Months ago
Moonray
 

The same thing that repalced everyone else mind you I"m being largely figurative. my values my passions my relationships all being rotated out to be replaced with new ones and then that cycle repeating until I"m freed form it by the sweet release of death. I'm being told to keep abandoning and cycling the very things that make me who I am. my passions and relationships my convictions those all seem like things that will just be destroyed.

Basically I see my sense of self being stripped away and abandoned to be replaced by some other disgusting thing. I see the therapist as a hammer and myself as anail being forced in to place.

I feel like once I"m "rehabilitated" in to conformity I won't exist anymore.

I wish to escape that outcome.

8 Months ago
tnu
 

Do you think that you are the same person that you were yesterday?

Do you think that you are the same person that you were a year ago?

Ten years?

What do you think makes you you? What do you think makes you anything?

8 Months ago
9x19mm
 

I sure hope so. I hate tjhe ide athat I hav esome external demon (for lack of a better word) cosntantly fucking with me. It'd certainly worsen the sense of powerlessness I'm feeling,'+

8 Months ago
tnu
 

I rarely post on here anymore, but Borderline Personality disorder is summed up as... someone who experiences these emotions all at once: "I love you. I hate you. I want you to leave. I don't want you to leave." Because it is a personality disorder, it is something that is taught to you by your parents mainly because you grew up in an unstable environment.

8 Months ago
Helius
 

My parents did fight a lot.

8 Months ago
tnu
 

I sure hope so.


But do you have good reason to believe so, especially in light of the fact that you (like everyone else in the world) have new thoughts and new beliefs periodically, regardless of what you want?

I hate tjhe ide athat I hav esome external demon (for lack of a better word) cosntantly fucking with me.


Why do you verbalize it as an external demon? The reality is that we are emergent properties of the elements of this world and that changes in the world can result in changes in us. You're not describing someone comitting a metaphysical crime against you, you're describing things happening.

You know what I would find horrifying? Being a subhuman automaton that never changes. Which, as mentioned above, you could not achieve even if you wanted to. You could become a Buddhist monk and only ever meditate and sweep floors for the rest of your life, and you would not achieve that.

We are subject to conditions. There is not a choice that you or anyone else can make that will change that. But we can make choices that can change how we suffer, and what else we do besides suffer. I would rather suffer how I wish, and do as much else as I can besides suffering. Thusly, change is absolutely necessary, not only for life, but to approach irreplaceability.

Your course - to change as little as possible - is the opposite. By reducing yourself merely to certain passions, relationships and convictions, you are making yourself more replaceable.

Please avoid portraying what I have said as faithlessness or disregard or lack of convictions in your response.

8 Months ago
9x19mm
 

Meh.

8 Months ago
tnu
 

There are some cases where I thought I was changing for the better and then it's like wait a minute maybe this isn't good or good for me and then it's okay better stop (it doesn't stop). One thing that is fairly clear to me though, the me from like 8 years ago or so would probably absolutely hate the me of today. And I'm not entirely sure he'd be wrong to do so. But then again, I'd also have plenty of valid reasons to hate him.

One might think after a while it would be better to work your shit out from within and learn to be fine with being "replaceable", therefore no matter how you change or don't change you won't be too phased or negatively influenced by your turbulent/potentially turbulent surroundings. Yet I have to wonder how many people manage to do that. Reality seems to gravitate people towards reliance on external forces.

Too much change and too much stubborn reluctance can be bad depending on the circumstances. But managing that adequately, well probably no one has the definite answer for that especially for a the vastly unique set of people with rather unique circumstances and sets of problems. Thus you kind of end up having to figure your own shit out, see if other people can help you figure it out and if you can't well sucks to be you. Such is life.

8 Months ago
Grey Echelon
 

9x19mm I'm guessing you don't really care whether or not I listen to you.

8 Months ago
tnu
 

Depends on what you mean by "care". I am willing to carry on a conversation by responding to things that you say. I'm not going to change my mind, though. I guess you could say that I have a firm conviction that I'm not willing to just throw away and move on from.

8 Months ago
9x19mm
 

Fair enough.Unfortunately our convictions seem to be at odds especially regarding that (figurative) demon.

8 Months ago
tnu
 

I guess you could say that I have a firm conviction that I'm not willing to just throw away and move on from.

I also kind of share the wondering why you respond to his threads so much in particular that tnu expressed to me elsewhere though. Is there a reason?

8 Months ago
Grey Echelon
 

tnu serves as a perfect diametric opposite in this dialogue, so he's a useful catalyst for my own ideas.

8 Months ago
9x19mm
 

Curses foiled again!

8 Months ago
tnu
 

I rarely post on here anymore, but Borderline Personality disorder is summed up as... someone who experiences these emotions all at once: "I love you. I hate you. I want you to leave. I don't want you to leave." Because it is a personality disorder, it is something that is taught to you by your parents mainly because you grew up in an unstable environment.


soemtimes yeah there's people I feel very...complciated feeligns about that seem kinda like that. it's very frustratign when it happens.

7 Months ago
tnu
 

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