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WARNING: Mature content possible. Proceed with caution.

I wanted to start a thread where we talk about our partners, and our lives with them. Who are they, how's it going with them, especially with holidays coming up?

Alternatively, single people, how's the chase?

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There are 26 Replies

My girlfriend and I are happier than ever. We've been together for 6 years and we're still finding new ways to open up to each other and make each other happy.

She's been dropping hints over the last year that she eventually wants to get married and I finally got over my anxiety and told her that that's what I want as well, but it's not going to happen until I get my life stabilized.

This Saturday, we're going to an art museum where they have a Nightmare Before Christmas special.

Posted November 22nd by nullfather
nullfather

Wooo Nelly let's not go there.

Seriously

I'll report back in 6 weeks if it all goes well or sooner.

Posted November 22nd by S.o.h.
S.o.h.
 

It's going more... consistently better than it used to. There are still those on and off arguments and such but it's pretty great, at least to me. There are those who probably wouldn't be willing to put up with some of this. I've been getting over negative stuff more often lately and I see there's much more to us and to her. I think we've been talking for at least 3 years now maybe more (may have to ask her because my brain lost track of time again) and had the affections brewing for about the same amount time.

Something that comes to mind at the moment is that we're very different in many noticeable ways, but it seems like the reason why we feel so strongly about things in different ways, is actually for the same reasons. So when we can put our differences aside, and speak to our souls so to speak, it's a beautiful thing. It seems we've even come to agreements as a result.

Now it's not to say things can't go horribly wrong somewhere but it's great. I try not to worry about that possibility when a lot of things are possible.

I don't much like holidays tbh and they're kind of meh so we don't have anything in particular planned, just the usual stuff.

Edited November 22nd by KnokkelMillennium
KnokkelMillennium

She's been dropping hints over the last year that she eventually wants to get married and I finally got over my anxiety and told her that that's what I want as well, but it's not going to happen until I get my life stabilized.


Why get married now days? Why not just do something less traditional and more avant-garde to show your emotions? That sounds more up your alley anyway. And it won't have to give you legal fuckery.

Posted November 22nd by KnokkelMillennium
KnokkelMillennium

Single. Doing just fine, apart from the economic anxiety about how expensive this house/money pit is becoming.

Posted November 22nd by Jet Presto
Jet Presto

Why get married now days? Why not just do something less traditional and more avant-garde to show your emotions? That sounds more up your alley anyway. And it won't have to give you legal fuckery.


I already consider her and I to be married in any way that matters to me personally. We wear silver rings to signify our relationship. As far as showing our emotions goes, I am satisfied. While I appreciate ritual as art, this isn't playtime. This is life, where action takes precedent over symbology.

Even if we do not get officially married, we are probably going to have legal fuckery anyway because I forsee us living together. Look up "commonlaw marriage" if you haven't heard of it before.

Posted November 22nd by nullfather
nullfather

I see. Still though, I don't see why some other ritual needs to take precedence over another. Marriage is clearly just a ritual, but a very traditional one is all. I get it if someone wants to stick to traditions or if they feel like it's the only way they will be recognized by others but eh.

Posted November 22nd by KnokkelMillennium
KnokkelMillennium

Still though, I don't see why some other ritual needs to take precedence over another. Marriage is clearly just a ritual, but a very traditional one is all.


To be clear, we will not be doing a traditional Christian ceremony when we get married. It will be closer to a non-denominational civil union.

Marriage is not just a ritual; it's something that needs to be done so that we have control over when it is legally determined that we are husband and wife and what the agreement between us is. With my life being fucked, I want to be cautious in order to not drag her down with me.


Posted November 22nd by nullfather
nullfather

Eh. Fair enough I guess. Don't see myself ever doing that personally.

Posted November 22nd by KnokkelMillennium
KnokkelMillennium

Eh. Fair enough I guess. Don't see myself ever doing that personally.

in the last few months my opinion has shifted from wanting to get married in my early to mid thirties at the latest to being happy with the possibility of being married at 27.


Posted November 22nd by S.O.H.
S.O.H.
 

Things between my cat and me have been strained lately. Yesterday I shoved him into a crate and took him to the vet to be poked and prodded. Since then he's been avoiding me. I keep bribing him to love me again with treats, and I think we're on a path to repairing things. He has already started talking to me again. On this trajectory, we'll get back to being buddies by the end of the week. :)

Edited November 22nd by Cetasaurus
Cetasaurus
formerly KM8

I'm married to my work.

She's a bitch.

Posted November 22nd by Xhin
Xhin
 

I'm married to my work.


Time for a divorce! :^) (pardon my usage of this image, I just found it somewhere and found it too hilarious to not post ironically)



Edited November 22nd by KnokkelMillennium
KnokkelMillennium

Sounds good, Nullfather, good on you for having such a long relationship. I really can't imagine it. But I do understand about wanting to get your finances in order; I'm in grad school living it really spare for most of the time.

I'll report back in 6 weeks if it all goes well or sooner.

That's unacceptable. I want to hear about it now when its still up in the air.

Knokkel, that sounds good. So you've been talking for three years, but how long have you guys been together as a couple?




Posted November 23rd by Agis
Agis
 

Anyway, I'll contribute with my situation.

I'm dating a girl I met the summer before last in Beijing. She was in law school at the time and currently at an internship in Shanghai, but hoping to find a better one soon. She's Chinese, actually from a minority group called the Zhuang, but they've been very assimilated into national culture, and she's pretty westernized herself.

We haven't been together the whole time we've known each other, we broke up and stopped talking for some months while I was in America with no real way to go back to China for an indefinite amount of time. But until August at least I'll be in a city very close to Shanghai and hopefully I'll have gotten a job there too. It's pretty stressful, actually, because compared to some places in America, or even Beijing, Shanghai only has a handful of places I want to work for, and it's unsure whether an internship over the summer could lead into an entry level job. She hates the idea of anything other than me staying with her in the same city, so I'm trying to balance her and getting into the right career track.

But, I love her lots. Giving up any chance to work in our government's intelligence services because of her dad's communist party membership, so hopefully it'll work out.

Posted November 23rd by Agis
Agis
 

I've been with my girl for 4 years now. Been married for almost two months. We've never broken up but there are times where the tension between us gets bad. I'm a very easygoing don't-give-a-crap-what-people-say kind of person and she worries about what people will say. We also come from different types of families and cultures so occasionally we clash. When we do clash it can last a while but then we will have a while of peace and that is what I live for.

After getting my degree I'm trying to get a job while working as a consultant at another place. We're trying to get a place to call our own, but she expects me to be the person who does it all while I expect us to be a team.

Posted November 23rd by Fox Forever
Fox Forever

So you've been talking for three years, but how long have you guys been together as a couple?


When I said affections brewing that's what I meant. Just wanted to word it in an odd way for some reason. So about as long because it didn't take long to start dating if I remember correctly.

Edited November 23rd by KnokkelMillennium
KnokkelMillennium

That's unacceptable. I want to hear about it now when its still up in the air.

In a nutshell I'm in the talking stages with some one I really care about. We agreed to wait until the semester was over before we got too crazy.

In the mean time I've been focusing on school, jogging and preparing for various academies.

Posted November 23rd by S.o.h.
S.o.h.
 

I used to date chaolin deom gametalk but we had so many problems with our lives (especially me because I was swamped with homework my sophmore and junior years in high school and didn’t have enough time to be with her). We’re still great friends, she’s been dating other people because she knows that I’m terminally ill and bound to die angday now and she’s already lost her mom, both of her grandmas, and her uncle so she doesn’t want to lose another close loved one. I’ve offered her financial help and everything since she’s totally broke and can’t even afford to attend a state university here in California nor even pay gas most of the days because she’s not working right now. Her last boyfriend broke up with her two months qgo and I desperately want to date her again despite all of my life’s problems and living 135 away from her and I can’t drive. I know that she would be very scared because she would be a widow the second that I suffer and pass away and she’s already tried dating like 20 boyfriends and it’s been very tough for her to maintain her touch with them. She wants to earn and pay everything for herself and not have other people pay for her, she’s not a girl who wants to be pampered and I feel like a fool because I’m always manipulative and pamper about needing every downloadable content and amiibos for smash bros and Mario kart and Zelda and Mario and other games.

Posted November 24th by Weid man
Weid man
 

Fox Forever:

A couple questions: What culture is she from?

And, consulting? That's awesome, tell me more about it, that's something I've been considering a lot. Just went to a presentation by a boutique consulting firm a couple weeks ago. Seems pretty cool, despite the fact that I don't have much business experience.

SOH:

Yeah I get that man, you do you until then. The semester is really close to finishing anyway.

Weid:

I feel for you man. At least you guys can stay good friends, a relationship could definitely jeopardize that even in the best circumstances. I'm sure you feel like you want to help her with her struggles, but she'll start to catch a break both financially and romantically, as we all eventually do.

Posted November 24th by Agis
Agis
 

Wow, sorry I'm late. I had a busy weekend!

A couple questions: What culture is she from?

She's Mexican. Her parents are legal immigrants but she was born here. The culture does have the machismo type of things but I told her a long time ago that I don't subscribe to that stuff. She comes from a big family who were always close due to small living quarters while I'm from a medium-ish family (but nobody lives nearby). So in my immediate family we talk a little every day but have large portions of the day where we are doing our own thing.

And, consulting? That's awesome, tell me more about it, that's something I've been considering a lot. Just went to a presentation by a boutique consulting firm a couple weeks ago. Seems pretty cool, despite the fact that I don't have much business experience.

Well I worked at a place that used a specific software for resellers. Since I had the experience some place anted to have me do any IT stuff for them (largely data entry, etc.) as a consultant. Basically I can work whatever days I want Mon-Fri, so I work just about every day but I can take any day off that I want. The drawback is that I get no sick days and no holiday pay since I'm not an official employee. I just drove 600 miles to do a probation officer position test about a week and a half ago so I'm hoping that that goes well. So I guess for now I'm technically my own boss since I'm not part of a firm.

Posted November 27th by Fox Forever
Fox Forever

Mexican. Her parents are legal immigrants but she was born here. The culture does have the machismo type of things but I told her a long time ago that I don't subscribe to that stuff. She comes from a big family who were always close due to small living quarters while I'm from a medium-ish family (but nobody lives nearby). So in my immediate family we talk a little every day but have large portions of the day where we are doing our own thing.

Mexican here can confirm the machismo culture is a big deal. I do feel that it's watered down some. Most Mexicans now want their daughters to be educated and not have to rely on a man. End of the day though family is a huge thing for us and the man always gets the final say.

Lord help you if you're at a family cook out and don't cater to your man first lol. The chisme and looks you will get.

Yeah family is important for us. We are all clustered together over here. I use to hate it growing up but now I have a new found appreciation for it.

Posted November 27th by S.o.h.
S.o.h.
 

Ah, I see. I got a peek at that kind of family style when I used to date a Dominican girl. Sounds like a good thing though, may not be what you're used to, but spices up your life and makes it a bit more interesting at least. Have a good relationship with her parents and family?

I'm going to be meeting my girlfriend's parents in February. It's a big deal in Chinese culture to get introduced as a boyfriend to a girl's parents; basically, it means we're going to get married. Her parents aren't that traditional, but it would be a problem if I meet her grandparents, uncles and aunts. A bit different from your case, though, that they're already in America. I plan on eventually taking my girl to America, which is going to be resisted by her family, haha.

Posted November 27th by Agis
Agis
 

I'm going to be meeting my girlfriend's parents in February. It's a big deal in Chinese culture to get introduced as a boyfriend to a girl's parents; basically, it means we're going to get married.

Thats interesting! Apparently that is also the case for Koreans. (Professor married a Korean girl when teaching abroad)

This is not entirely the case for hispanics. But if you bring them around for the holidays or important ish events like Quinceneras, Weddings, Baptisms etc its pretty much implied you are going to marry them.

Posted November 27th by S.O.H.
S.O.H.
 

Yeah her whole family likes me and I like them. Though mostly the older gen speaks pretty much Spanish while I can only understand part that's spoken, so it's not 100% communicable. I have difficulty forming sentences or I take so long to figure and put the words together that it turns out awkward. I know she wishes I was more advanced on the Spanish front but I learn slowly. I've never felt awkward being the only non-mexican though since I don't really care about race.

Posted November 28th by Fox Forever
Fox Forever

And yes I attend all the xmases, quinceñeras, New year's, birthdays, and literal days of birth (so far it's 3).

Posted November 28th by Fox Forever
Fox Forever
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