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Spirituality, Religion, Theology and Philosophy


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I won't say the name of what's happening next week, but we all know the day of Satan is coming soon. Here are some tips for staying safe.

1. Keep your house lit. Around 10PM on the night of the 30th turn on ALL of your lights. Turn on your inside light, turn on you outside lights. Turn on the fridge light, the micorwave light, leave no dark corner for demons to enter from. You can buy small batterypowered lights from Amazon to slip under your furniture so it stays bright under your couch otherwise be careful when getting on and off your bed/couch. Sometimes something might try to grab you and pull you under (happend to me 3 times). Also put an array of bright lights all around your house, make it an outpouring of light! A beacon in teh dark neighfobooh.

2. Put a sign on your door saying 'Jesus lives here'. REally. You'd be surprised at how many trick or treaters will turn tail and run at the sight of it, eliminating sin vectors and giving you some quality entertainment.

3. PRAY! I can't stress this enough. Get as many real Chrisitnas (no mormons or catholics) into your house and have them pray the whole night. Don't stop praying for one second. If you need to take a break make sure the others are praying for you while you do. Take praryer shifts. Stay safe.

r. Don't go out the next day. Catholics actually sin on November 1st, worshiping their false gods (saints). The streets are not safe on Novermber 1st, but you can let down some of your house defenses.

5. Purify. On November second start purifying. Pray in every room in your house, blessing every object you can. Once you've built up a decent sized bastion of light in your home start moving through the neighborhood. I find formiing corsses (pray in a straight line then pray in another straight line crossing that one) clears a massive area. Place small crosses to ward off the devil.

6. Don't go out at night for at least 1 week after the day. It's just not safe till then, better safe than sorry.

God bless, stay safe.

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There are 8 Replies

And when all else fails



Posted October 29th by Xhin
Xhin
 



Posted October 29th by Laxan
Laxan
 

I guess this thread is now a video association game



Posted October 29th by Xhin
Xhin
 

And that, my dear friends, is all atheists have to fight religion. Sarcasm. Not evidence. Not sharp wit, but the polar opposite of sharp wit, a.k.a. sarcasm.

Posted October 31st by GC/MS
GC/MS
 

And that, my dear friends, is all atheists have to fight religion. Sarcasm. Not evidence. Not sharp wit, but the polar opposite of sharp wit, a.k.a. sarcasm

So that's one more thing atheists have than Christians then? Guess sarcasm is better than nothing.

Posted November 3rd by What we do
What we do
 

Mormonism is basically the sarcasm of Christianity. Your entire religion is mockery of Christianity, where have I ever employed sarcasm? And why would it even be bad if I did?

Posted November 5th by Mastersheep
Mastersheep
 

See? Those last two posts were nothing but impotent sarcasm.

The prosecution rests.

By the way, What We Do, you only think that because you refuse to consider anything that doesn't appeal to your confirmation bias.

Posted November 10th by GC/MS
GC/MS
 

Well you only think that because you refuse to consider anything that doesn't c9nfirm to your confirmation bias

Also if my post was sarcasm so was yours but hypocrisy is what religion does best so cheers.

Posted November 15th by What we do
What we do
 
Reply to: Staying safe in the coming days

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