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I remember making a post a couple of years ago, and i forget why i cut my visit short. Oddly enough, I can't find it. The post is off topic, but that doesn't seem to be getting other posts deleted, anyway.

From what I'm reading here and elsewhere, we were all pretty much troubled kids, which we found this place to be our escape from our troubles, when in reality we just got a clean slate here (or, rather, the original site) but we still had our issues. Looks like everyone turned out alright (more than I can say for myself, but that's my fault). Not sure how I got so addicted to this place, when all I wanted was the Eon Ticket for pokemon Sapphire. I imagine everyone else found this place under similar conditions.

I had this irresistible urge, while playing The Witcher, to stop and actually make a post here. I have no idea why. But, I would like to apologize for being a massive douche to everyone in the past. So, I'm sorry.

Anyway, due to this place having the pulse of Captain Edward Smith, my guess is I shouldn't bother checking too often for replies (anyone who wants to talk should find me easily enough, if I don't). So, out of curiosity, does anyone actually remember me in a positive light? I do remember being quite the downer back then.

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There are 58 Replies

I remember you!! You are accurate about me at least. I lashed out here because of how beat down I was by the Neanderthals I went to school with. I beat them because Talen showed me how to speak up. I'd love to make it right with people like Corban. I wasn't nice to him. Don't leave! That's what is wrong! Let's revive this place and get strong like before. It really is a soul family here

Posted October 10th by Thunderbird
Thunderbird
 

Ugh, my game keeps crashing and burning. I think my save is corrupted.

Anyway, I don't recognize this alias. I assume you went under another one. How is Talen, anyway? I haven't heard from him in a month or two over 10 years.

As for this site, I'm afraid it would better serve as a hub for nostalgia. Only those of us who know the place (gametalk, let alone this domain name) would be attracted to it, and I'd bet over half of us who do know the place have no interest in returning. I'm more curious about what happened to some people. There's 2 or 3 people i'm curious about that I know would never be, here, though.

Posted October 10th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

I'm Talen! Haha

Posted October 10th by Thunderbird
Thunderbird
 

Who are the 3?

Posted October 10th by Thunderbird
Thunderbird
 

I was sitting and i still managed to fall over. How're you doin'?

Posted October 10th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

At work about to be done in 45 minutes then I'm going to get stoned and play injustice 2. You?

Posted October 10th by Thunderbird
Thunderbird
 

Could be better, could be worse (namely, i'm unemployed, and my locale doesn't pay well [factory work is almost as cheap as being a table busser], but I'm kinda land locked). I'm alive, but I'll be going to bed here, soon.

Posted October 10th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

Somehow i missed your message above. XD

1. Tia (i forget her exact gametalk name)
2. spell
3. and i forget the other guy's name

third one was the only one who ever went to the RPG boards.

Posted October 10th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

Factory work? Ugh I did that shortly after moving back to Alabama a year ago. Slave drivers got a dose of old Talk. I'm not proud of my crazy but when the bosses said they didn't care if I die to get back to work I just lost it they fired me over the phone after suspending me they fire people usually live. Guess my threats of killing and eating them was accepted as legit eew like I could really eat a person. Oh well. Don't say awful crap to me and I'll be amazing to you. I'm actually peaceful and believe in helping others but to be told I'm not cared about when my health is at risk? Haha.... Try me

Posted October 10th by Thunderbird
Thunderbird
 

To be clear I don't flip out often. I left a physically and mental bad situation and returned home to be with family and got a job there and they were asses. I eventually got angry from everything and lashed out. I don't really lash out anymore and my current job is great air conditioned office with nice people who treat me like a human

Posted October 10th by Thunderbird
Thunderbird
 

They directly said that?

Nah, I worked at a chicken plant for a while. One person got hurt because someone else was high and wrecking a lift into things. Ended up knocking a door over and gave her a concussion. Given the thickness of the door, she was lucky to be alive. They drug tested her, but not the lift driver. Place gave you a daily schedule, which you often got as you were clocking out. I think they finally upgraded the pay from $10.20 an hour to $12 something an hour. The only benefit of the place is that I managed to learn spanish there, but i've since forgotten 90% of it.

So, obviously, any job i could get other than that place I would've taken, so I went to a nursing home that ended up paying me 3 cents less before i left. I'm a programmer, but they said I didn't even qualify for IT. I couldn't move up at all, and i was only part time and the schedule there was biweekly, so it wasn't all that bad, but I suspected that if I would've stayed they would've lied to a future employer just to keep me, so i left and i'm now unemployed.

Posted October 10th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

What do you do right now?

Posted October 10th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

You went by Kohlrak because you had a really complex name, right? I remember you. Don't remember you being at all a dick though.

Sorry to hear about your troubles, but you're still young and what's going on now isn't permanent.

Take some free internet classes and get some sick resume skills. Think of your unemployment in terms of time to develop yourself.

Posted October 11th by Agis
Agis
 

I'm 27.

The "complex name" was just an alternative phonetic spelling for Kohlrak. Kohlrak was from an obscure video game that had a list of names from which names were randomly chosen. Kalmagh and Kohlrak were the names that appeared the most in that game for my save files.

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

27? If you lived to 100 (which our generation is estimated to), you're only one quarter of the way there. Forget all the bullshit people might tell you about age. Age is just a number. As Agis said, take some internet classes, I'd recommend reading a stack of books. If you're stuck for employment, get a job in a supermarket. It may seem degrading but they usually pay well and offer stacks of hours, especially this time of year. You don't need any qualifications.

I only recall one person ever being bad on RPG Chat. It definitely wasn't Kohlrak. I can't remember his exact name but it was "Mr. (Something)" - not Mr.Reeee - he was a legend in his time. But this Mr. Something was an absolute cunt. I'll say no more on the matter.

Also I recognize the name Tia. And your mention of the name "spell" has reminded me of a name I was trying to remember "spelldragon" - I previously named him as "Uther Pendragon". Possibly because I have been watching the movie Excalibur on repeat lately

Posted October 11th by Shadow
Shadow
 

Spelldragon (animal crossing forums) was the one, yes. Tia was imaperson or something like that.

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

there was also a fox or a raven person or something.

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

"So, obviously, any job i could get other than that place I would've taken, so I went to a nursing home that ended up paying me 3 cents less before i left. I'm a programmer, but they said I didn't even qualify for IT. I couldn't move up at all, and i was only part time and the schedule there was biweekly, so it wasn't all that bad, but I suspected that if I would've stayed they would've lied to a future employer just to keep me, so i left and i'm now unemployed."

If you have programming and IT knowledge you should look for some help desk positions. There is always a need for those and you can negotiate a decent starting salary. You don't even need any certs or major education really, just demonstrate the knowledge you have and back it up on a resume.

Edited October 11th by Q
Q
64 Bits of Pure Power!

They're not in demand in my area at all. That type of job is typically outsourced, too. I was told by everyone around me to work for any given company, then when IT comes up to apply for that. My experience tells me that the strategy doesn't work.

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

Have you tried posting a resume online on Indeed and monster.com?

Posted October 11th by Q
Q
64 Bits of Pure Power!

No, but i'm land locked, too.

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

How does that affect your Job opportunities? What country do you live in?

Posted October 11th by Q
Q
64 Bits of Pure Power!

When i say land locked, that means i cannot move, nor is traveling a realistic option due to geography.

I live in the US, in central PA. Winter is a major issue, especially being almost completely surrounded by mountains, so out of county road closings are quite frequent, which is my largest issue.

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

Ah I see what you mean, I am familiar with PA as I live in MD and have driven through PA many times.

Find yourself a Help Desk job that allows Telework and you should be ok. Many places will understand road closings due to emergencies.

Edited October 11th by Q
Q
64 Bits of Pure Power!

Maybe you should consider moving to the Big City.

Posted October 11th by Agis
Agis
 

27 isnt young babe. no matter how u put it. im 26 and i feel like a old pig

Posted October 11th by Brandy
Brandy

27 isnt young babe. no matter how u put it. im 26 and i feel like a old pig


25 - 30 is generally considered the peak of life by many people, and even that is a very short-sighted interpretation of human potential.

Just because you feel like an old pig does not mean that 26-27 isn't young.

Posted October 11th by nullfather
nullfather

Everywhere i've worked here in mifflin county can't understand it when it happens within the county. i'll be in a foot of snow, stuck with a ford mustang, and it's like "yeah, we aren't accepting call-offs today." "You might not be accepting them, but i'm not accepting that risk, either." For context, the 4WD vehicle would be in the garage for repairs. But 322 closes alot, so 4WD doesn't matter.

How deep do you go into PA?

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

According to science, 27 is the age where males first hit their rock bottom testosterone. I question the value myself, but apparently some scientists are arguing that chronic criminals could be theoretically kept in prisons until 27, then left out and are fairly unlikely to commit crimes. This random fact came from Jordan Peterson's lectures on the bible. I totally forget which video in that series.

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

thats probably because 27 is a long time to be alive, espically for primates (if you want to get scientifc)

Posted October 11th by Brandy
Brandy

"i'll be in a foot of snow, stuck with a ford mustang, and it's like "yeah, we aren't accepting call-offs today.""

Been there, I have had a few Mustangs. Ended up getting a Jeep Compass 4X4. it's nothing special but I got it loaded with some features like heated seats, moon roof, dvd-player, Satellite radio and a back up camera. But I do miss the Mustang as it was more fun to drive. Eventually I would like to get a RAM 1500 Truck since I recently got my wife a new 2017 Durango AWD.

"For context, the 4WD vehicle would be in the garage for repairs. But 322 closes alot, so 4WD doesn't matter. "

So you do or don't have a 4WD vehicle? I guess if the roads are closed it doesn't matter. Have you looked at moving to a place that doesn't have as many routes closed around you?

"How deep do you go into PA?"

Johnstown is a place i've visited a few times to visit my wife's extended family.

Edited October 11th by Q
Q
64 Bits of Pure Power!

Around 30 women start to panic about not having kids, and miscarriages start to become common. By 40, you're in trouble if you want them and don't have them. So, we can say that humans will live to 200, and since it won't change these facts, we're merely extending "old" to be over 50% of the human life span.

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

25 - 30 is generally considered the peak of life by many people, and even that is a very short-sighted interpretation of human potential.


wtf til.

Posted October 11th by 7
7
 

The issue is that moving is not an option. 4WD is usually acquirable, too, but when you have 2 vehicles and the one you need blew it's transmission, you're out of luck. But the bigger concern is road closings, since the nearest city-like location is about 30-1 hour drive over a "mountain" that frequently closes if we're warned to over 1-inch of snow.

EDIT: I live NE of Johnstown.

Edited October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

exactly, our closest relative the bonobo, live to 40 years old (and thats rare) we are african apes like the bonobo and we live 75 plus when we get into the latter years (50+) we get cancer and IBS and all this other health issues, because at the end of the day, we are still african apes and we're not supposed to live to 70 years old,

Posted October 11th by Brandy
Brandy

Brandy, whatever it is you are smoking, you need to stop. Seriously.

Posted October 11th by Q
Q
64 Bits of Pure Power!

*chimps

While cancer is often a function of age, it seems to be rising in children, so i hesitate to suggest it's due to medicine making us live longer like alot of people suggest.

Medicine has come a long way at improving our conditions, though.

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

"he issue is that moving is not an option. 4WD is usually acquirable, too, but when you have 2 vehicles and the one you need blew it's transmission, you're out of luck."

I have been in that situation also. I used to have an old 1998 Durango that started to break down too much due to age, so I had to get rid of it and my mustang for a vehicle that could handle the elements better.

Posted October 11th by Q
Q
64 Bits of Pure Power!

whatever it is you are smoking, you need to stop. Seriously.

what cigarettes? that's all i smoke i dont smoke weed

Posted October 11th by Brandy
Brandy

Well we have a solution now, but that doesn't solve the issue that i'm stuck where i'm at, and the problem being made worse due to the low wages in the county (and the nearby county that doesn't have a steep climb separating us).

Believe it or not, I have a bunch of people close to me trying to solve the problem. My best bet is that, maybe, depending on contract negotiations, the only place that actually pays well around here will be hiring soon. The business is straight up keeping this area alive.

I've also tried getting into corrections, but you won't have much luck with civil service jobs without a military background. State Police seems to be hurting to get people, but they don't accept you unless you have a college degree in *something*. I'm not even kidding you.

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

Well, unless you have any physical disabilities the military isn't a bad option.

Posted October 11th by Q
Q
64 Bits of Pure Power!

It's on the list of "if nothing else, i'll do it to survive." The issue is, while i don't have an occupation right now, i've build up alot and i'd loose it all leaving the area or going into the service. Otherwise, i would've done it years ago. Unfortunately, the situation is a ticking time-bomb so I just may end up like my father going in at 29.

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

I was a good kid. I had my friends irl, I got along great with my family (mostly), and I was a decent student. I originally came to the first site to discuss my love of FFX.

Posted October 11th by -Riku-
-Riku-
 

I usually used the name F-T while I was there

Posted October 11th by -Riku-
-Riku-
 

I remember seeing the name, but not interacting with it. I was incredibly sexist and hormonal, and preferred to interact with females. XD

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

Also: Yojimbo of the Sword, Darth Yojimbo, Pr. Tidus, and -Joe-

Posted October 11th by -Riku-
-Riku-
 

Nae

Posted October 11th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

Not surprising. F-T and this name are the ones I've used the most.

Posted October 12th by -Riku-
-Riku-
 

That's the thing though. Back then i wouldn't admit it to myself, but today i'm willing to admit that i gravitated alot towards female names, and constantly tried to get my RPs to be attractive to females. Back then i preferred the company of women, even without sexual interest in them. Now, i'm the complete opposite. My orientation never changed, I just realized really late that they're not as comforting to hang around as they seem to be, while the rough, tough honesty of the alpha male big brother and his harsh criticisms are refreshingly honest and comforting, despite how prickly.

Posted October 12th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

I was happy now I'm 30 have trouble leaving my home aside from work. I watch a lot of conspiracy stuff about CERN and pope Francis and the microchips being implanted into people's hand. I've grown scared the end is near. I wish I could break out of it and go do something anything. I could take my cat for a nature walk or go sit in a restaurant and eat but I find myself each day drunk and or stoned crying and praying for us to be saved as a species. I'm so unmotivated and I'm scared to try to off myself. That was only a solution prior to all of this and the things being shown in these conspiracy theories promise new bodies be it cyborg or transgenic. I've always wanted to be part white tiger and now I can't even enjoy that because it damns me to hell. I fear my dissent has torn my hope asunder but I can't go back and be part of the world no matter how I try. I can't dominate a room anymore. I shy away and cower in fear if any guy shows me attention. I just want to break free so I return to this site in hopes of something anything

Posted October 13th by Thunderbird
Thunderbird
 

Seek professional help.

Posted October 13th by nullfather
nullfather

I have friend. Professional help isn't all it's made up to be. I just have to snap out of it. I guess worst case I just die twice by bible standards.

Posted October 13th by Thunderbird
Thunderbird
 

I was happy now I'm 30 have trouble leaving my home aside from work. I watch a lot of conspiracy stuff about CERN and pope Francis and the microchips being implanted into people's hand. I've grown scared the end is near. I wish I could break out of it and go do something anything. I could take my cat for a nature walk or go sit in a restaurant and eat but I find myself each day drunk and or stoned crying and praying for us to be saved as a species. I'm so unmotivated and I'm scared to try to off myself. That was only a solution prior to all of this and the things being shown in these conspiracy theories promise new bodies be it cyborg or transgenic. I've always wanted to be part white tiger and now I can't even enjoy that because it damns me to hell. I fear my dissent has torn my hope asunder but I can't go back and be part of the world no matter how I try. I can't dominate a room anymore. I shy away and cower in fear if any guy shows me attention. I just want to break free so I return to this site in hopes of something anything


You're afraid of hell, yet suicide you consider an option. Suicide is a function of nihilism. You seem very conflicted and unsure of what you believe. I could address all these conspiracy theories individually, but that would probably prompt unnecessary debates that would defeat the purpose of bringing them up, since this is an open forum.

I have friend. Professional help isn't all it's made up to be. I just have to snap out of it. I guess worst case I just die twice by bible standards.


Nihilism without hedonism leads to this. If you believe the bible at all, you should not be nihilist. If you don't believe the bible, why do you judge yourself by it's standards?

Posted October 13th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

Because i can't commit to the bible the whole anti gay thing and I can't commit to a world that I've grown to see as heartless. I have to believe the Creator is not like this. I mean I've tried suicide in the past but someone always stopped me which enraged me and destroyed friendships now I'm just here in between like you said I fear hell though I'd say I'm already in it since I stop myself from living

Posted October 13th by Thunderbird
Thunderbird
 

Maybe this topic shouldn't be public, but anyway.

Because i can't commit to the bible the whole anti gay thing


The more you read, the more you question God's stance. Remember, if you know the bible well at all, you'll know that the bible is man's interpretation of God's stance, not God's stance, which seemed to be the source of the majority of conflicts between Jesus and those whom eventually killed him.

and I can't commit to a world that I've grown to see as heartless.


That much is your problem. It's not entirely heartless, but for every person that says what you say, it gets worse, since you're basically saying that you'd rather join the heartless (by not committing).

I have to believe the Creator is not like this.


It is incredibly illogcal to assume he would be malevolent. Too much has been invested to come to the conclusion of malevolence.

I mean I've tried suicide in the past but someone always stopped me which enraged me and destroyed friendships


Well, most people aren't too comfortable with the idea that they aren't cool enough to convince someone not to commit suicide, so, to protect their own ego, they'll step in. I've played the "please don't do it game" too many times with too many people. I'd rather people not do it, but I don't have the power to stop people.

now I'm just here in between like you said I fear hell though I'd say I'm already in it since I stop myself from living


And i have a feeling that this in particular is where your issue is. You haven't defined what you mean by "living," and you haven't defined why you stop yourself from committing to "living." Clearly it's a painful subject for you, which is why you were open with the rest (which is also painful) but not this (which is more painful, so you released the rest to half open up about it, but you're afraid to go the whole way).

Posted October 13th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

I'm afraid if I try for my dreams I'll get sucked into whatever negative abyss most artists fall into. I'm also afraid that if I make the wrong choice I'm going to be punished. Remember what I said I left a life behind to be with family in hopes of a fix. Its peaceful here I can say what's on my mind without a loved one arguing with me or hitting me. I still talk to him but I left it all behind. I keep the flaws he caused that won't go away like teeth or scars. I know I wasn't perfect but I'm also not so sure of people or where to go or who to trust. So I began soul searching and that mixed with my passion for the paranormal kinda just caused this over time. I dunno like I said therapy doesn't help I just have to snap out of it

Posted October 13th by Thunderbird
Thunderbird
 

I'm afraid if I try for my dreams I'll get sucked into whatever negative abyss most artists fall into.


That's why you need a backup plan. I had a backup plan for my backup plan, and that failed. Frankly, i overestimated my environment, which is not the same as yours.

I'm also afraid that if I make the wrong choice I'm going to be punished.


You definitely will be if you make the wrong choice, but to that same end, inaction is worse. At least if you choose something, there's a chance it'll turn out alright.

Remember what I said I left a life behind to be with family in hopes of a fix. Its peaceful here I can say what's on my mind without a loved one arguing with me or hitting me. I still talk to him but I left it all behind. I keep the flaws he caused that won't go away like teeth or scars. I know I wasn't perfect but I'm also not so sure of people or where to go or who to trust. So I began soul searching and that mixed with my passion for the paranormal kinda just caused this over time. I dunno like I said therapy doesn't help I just have to snap out of it


Therapy can work, trust me. The fact that you know what you know tells me you also know that therapy does work. The problem is, therapy never addressed the underlying issue that's leading to these problems re-emerging in some form or another. It sounds to me like, at some point, you made a leap of faith (presumably for some guy), something went wrong, and now you're afraid to try again. So afraid that, to get your mind off of it, you're distracting yourself with other things, and not as a short term solution to get over pain. In order to snap out of it, you need to address the issue getting you back in it. As for the violence, that's uncalled for.

ACE score?

Posted October 13th by Kohlrak
Kohlrak

Eat a peanut.

Posted October 14th by Gratchius
Gratchius
 
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