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Well I officially stopped chemo today since I want to prepare for my fate and just die of natural causes
Posted: Posted July 17th by Weid man
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I talked to my doctor today and I cannot tolerate my suffering anymore. I’ve been through so much pain it’s hard to just get up and walk a lot of the time. I’m not planing on committing suicide since that is a sin. Tomorrow I will consult with my psychiatrist I will likely increase pain meds so much. The doctor said that surgery is no longer an option for me and I just literally want to fucking die. Hopefully I will die in my sleep and hope heaven is real and they I can be saved even though I don’t deserve to especially since I’ve been cranky with my nurses lately caused by the stresses of my own health's I problems, i’m on the last toe for palliative care so I better watch out. I know I have hurt many people here and I am sorry for doing that. I know that by stopping the chemo it will create more pain from tumors growing over my body and likely cause some form of paralysis but hopefully I can be sent to hospice before the worst even happens and be put under (meaning to death).

As for my message for you all I thank the entire gametalk community helping me progress the last 16 years of my life. I wouldn’t have made it this far if it weren’t for finding this video game social networking community where I could easily make friends with since we all share a common interest (gaming). I hope to see you when your time comes to go too.

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You don't need to be sorry about anything, weid. If anything, I need to apologize for the times that I've been a hardass to you. You have gone through more than most people ever will. The fact that you have held out for years and have continued to entertain and encourage the rest of us is incredible. You are an icon.

Posted July 17th by Cruinn-Annuin
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Love you weidman

Posted July 17th by S.o.h.
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Thank you both very much. While I pass away I’ll just ask my parents to donate money to fox forever who’s only two hours away from me and my parents basically have the entire Republican Party supporting them (they love trump).

Posted July 17th by Weid man
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I hope they play this song at my funeral and hope I can hear this song again in heaven.

Posted July 17th by Weid man
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Weid, I'm sorry I never could come to see you. i'm really sorry about that, I love you and I hope you can watch over me from wherever you go, cause I sure as hell need it.

From Brady Myers.

Posted July 17th by Yellow Jr.
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Very sorry Garrett. I know it's all been extremely hard on you. Hard to believe that it's been almost 16 years since we were around GT. If I knew the extent of your problem back then I would've come around earlier.

We should have another Garrettopia before you're unable to live at home anymore (which I hope is not for a while). Even if not everyone can make it, I'll be there. Maybe you could play as The Hero since he's coming out rather soon.

I’ll just ask my parents to donate money to fox forever who’s only two hours away from me

That's one of the nicest gestures I've ever been given, but I don't think I could honestly accept that. Your parents should keep fighting against NF2.

Posted July 17th by Fox Forever
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Sorry to hear things are where they are in your life.

May God bless you Weid.

Posted July 17th by chiefsonny
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You are an amazing person Weid_Man. I have always enjoyed reading your opinions in threads and enjoyed hearing about your gaming knowledge.

You are definitely one of the most kindest out of all the people on this website. I would also like to say thank you for the times that you have stuck up for me. And thank you for making this website more of an interesting place.

I hope God helps things for you to work out whether in life or after death. I am not in your shoes so I don't know exactly what it feels like what you're going through but I've had problems in my life before and I can understand things can be hard. Its a shame there are some horrible people in the world that make other people's lives more difficult. But there are many nice people in the world who have empathy, sympathy and are there to try and help make people's lives better.

You have never hurt me before Weid_man. You have always been one of the nice guys. You don't need to feel guilty about anything.

If you live in America, the healthcare system is much better than in the UK (The UK is where I live). Some of the doctors here lack the most basic medical knowledge and give the wrong information.

If God is real then I hope he brings you whatever happiness he can give you weid, whether in life or after death. Every life form is a part of the world and a contribution to God's program.

There are many problems in the world but hopefully we can try and make parts of the world a better place.

I hope you live for as long as you can so I can still see you on this website weid_man. You are a good person and in the afterlife I am sure there are some good things waiting for you. But yes suicide is a sin and people can be punished for it. I hope you live as long as you can for our World.

Posted July 17th by Welsh_Gamer
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All my time on the internet and I've never met anyone else quite like you.

A few years ago when I had a significant health scare I initially responded with fear. I avoided going to the doctor because I was afraid of what the answer might be, up to the possibility of an esophageal tumor. I'd not known what achalasia was, and left untreated I could have aspirated myself into pneumonia or worse while I slept. I frequently thought back to you, and how you faced every surgery with a courage that I was not finding in myself. I eventually went to a specialist, and then took the requisite test (and then another test, and then another test...) to discover the nature of my condition, and that there were solutions that should, with few chances of complication in the years to come, buy me the remainder of my natural life. It cost me three grand and 20 pounds to get to the point when I could eat normally again, but the point is that I found you to be an inspiration, and if I've acquired any wisdom in the three years since I will not forget what I learned from your example.

This thread has the tenor of a farewell, and if that's the case then I wish you the best.

Posted July 17th by Famov
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I know you've been through a lot with everything and your disease is ultimately terminal, it's just a question of when rather than if. That said though, is there nothing more you can do? Maybe you need to find a new doctor (or, well, an additional doctor) who doesn't think your condition is inoperable. Like if it's too risky, well you've already committed yourself to dying anyway, so any chance of survival is better than what you currently have.

If this is a farewell post, then well, it's been a heck of a ride. You'll be missed.

Posted July 17th by Xhin
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