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Thinking about going to my first AA meeting tomorrow night
Posted: Posted November 5th, 2019 by MarvaIo
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Title says it all. I don't actually think I'm an alcoholic but I would like to quit drinking. I'm only 25 but the hangovers are getting worse and making me more miserable. My face is getting fucking fat too. I reached out to a friend who goes to AA herself and I think going would help me be more accountable. I'm just afraid of looking like a fraud. Like I don't drink enough to warrant being there. I hope I don't have to speak.

Anyway, I will let everyone know how it goes if I go. If this thread gets no replies I will maybe repost in a more "active" forum.

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don’t worry, they won’t think you’re a fraud. by AA rules, if you’ve ever blacked out, you’re an alcoholic. you also don’t have to talk at your first meeting. you can just say you’re there to learn.

Posted November 5th, 2019 by poptart!
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Admitting you have a problem, no matter how small, is the first step to getting better. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't belong at the meeting.

I am proud of you, Marv!

Posted November 5th, 2019 by Aurelian
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I encourage you. I’ve never been to AA per se, but I’ve been to Depressive & Manic-D A, to Emotions A, to Overeaters A, and they’ve all helped — depending on the local chapter. I’ve also been to Recovery Inc. (a self-help group for ex-mental-patients), and to an Asperger’s sufferers’ group. And an anger-management group.

Which ones work seem to depend on where you live. If you move, shop around your new town; some of the ones that were helpful in your former residence may turn out kind of “meh” in your new place, whereas some of the ones you dropped back home may turn out very helpful in your new place.

All of them work better if you’re seeing a competent professional with a correct diagnosis. They’re all designed to help members get the most out of professional help. If you have a competent pro and they know what’s what with you, all of the self-help groups will say to do everything your pro advises, and avoid whatever your pro advises against. Thing is, it isn’t always really clear how to do that; but it’s amazing how helpful stories from your fellow patients(? Or whatever the right term is) can be, and how unexpected. I frequently hear ideas that I must have just had blind spots against! Also I frequently come in feeling like I’ve been a failure the past month, only to have my fellow members congratulate me on how well I’d overcome the obstacles (or, sometimes, on how near I came to overcoming them).

———

In the meantime, to see some humorous examples of how NOT to act, watch “The Good Place”. If you want!

Posted November 5th, 2019 by chiarizio
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Damn, I feel depressed, and drinking is the only thing that makes me happy, although I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic - I've drank a lot more recently cause Samuel Adams Octoberfest was available, and it's my favorite beer. But I also find myself feeling more depressed on days I don't drink, so maybe I'm becoming addicted? It's weird cause I haven't had a drink in months, yet now it's so enticing to drink more, even though I can't find any more Octoberfest.

I might want to try that depression/manic depression support group - I'm diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and I'm going to start seeing a therapist soon, but it might be helpful to have a support group as well.

Posted November 6th, 2019 by Post-Wall Olga
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It's great that you're reaching out for help before it becomes a problem. I've never really understood the appeal of something that causes so many issues for a lot of folks.

Posted November 6th, 2019 by Laxan
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Laxan
 

I brought one of my friends to an AA. I’m not an alcoholic but he is and wanted to go with someone, he lasted maybe 25 minutes. Left when someone was explaining their story.

Posted November 6th, 2019 by Brandy
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Brandy
 

I ended up not going. I dunno if I want to anymore. I think I can quit drinking on my own. Been about 10 days sober

Posted November 6th, 2019 by MarvaIo
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MarvaIo
 

well it's always there if you need the extra help

Posted November 7th, 2019 by poptart!
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Exactly. If I get the urge to drink I have a pamphlet with a list of all the AA groups in my city.

Posted November 7th, 2019 by MarvaIo
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MarvaIo
 

I've been debating going to Al-Anon meetings, but all the ones in my area are in a church and that doesn't exactly make me the most comfortable. Not sure how helpful that will be. Gonna keep looking for one in, like, a rec center or something.

Thing that I would tack onto the "admitting you have a problem is the first step" thing is that there's also no shame in having a problem. I've known a few people reliant on substances who could not handle anyone bringing it up because they just felt so embarrassed and ashamed, but we all have our issues and problems and things we need work on. Including things we need help from others to fix. There's no shame in having a problem, especially one as common as substance abuse. And there is certainly never any shame in trying to change oneself for the better.

Posted November 8th, 2019 by Jet Presto
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