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So, this is what it feels like to be normal?
Posted: Posted October 1st by Hideous Destructor
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I'm currently doing what I mentioned yesterday, which has led me to the realization that I probably have some form of generalized anxiety disorder. Even if just for a few hours, I'm living without constant scheming and anticipation (and the subsequent negativity that comes from not having these rampant thoughts bear any fruit). It's like I've convinced myself that whatever the most hyperactive part of my brain is is the right one and that all the rest of it is a waste of time. Of course, the most hyperactive part of my brain is not necessarily wrong, either - I just need to stop acting like that part is the king.

I'm going to try to be attentive over the next couple of days, as I come back to baseline. I want to see if I can tell how much of this background anxiety I've actually been living with. There's already been a few things that I've realized are really clear - being able to walk around the supermarket without clenching my jaw was awesome.

I'm sure that Mike Patton knows exactly what I'm talking about.



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What arey oud oing? that might be useful to me.

Posted October 1st by tnu
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tnu
 

Oh, I drank some tea. I definitely did not extract lysergic acid amide from Morning Glory seeds and drink that, nor did I consume any amount of psilocybin mushrooms. That would be illegal, and illegal things are bad, as I'm sure you know.

[These substances can also have negative effects like increased anxiety, thought loops, paranoia, etc., so I can't recommend for you to try this. Especially since you said that you got on a prescription psychoactive already. Neither of us have any way of knowing how they would interact, and that could be disastrous.]

Posted October 1st by Hideous Destructor
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I made the decision to try to get therapy pretty much as soon as I made this thread. I've been gathering a little bit of information on how to go about it, considering how uncomfortable traditional therapy appointments would make me. I've been looking into online asynchronous options and will probably be starting one of those within the next couple of days.

Posted October 5th by Hideous Destructor
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My own therapists (plural!) have assured me that all the new symptoms I’m complaining about are common reactions to pandemics and shutdowns and quarantines, and don’t prove I’m any less normal than anyone else.
Which is reassuring in a way.

But suppose i said “my leg hurts like fuck, I can’t move it, and there’s a bone sticking out!” And a doctor told me “oh, don’t worry, that’s a common reaction to being run over by a truck.”
Well, that wouldn’t be all that reassuring, in another way.

....

To actually answer your title question;
I doubt I’m qualified to tell anyone what “normal” feels like.
I doubt I’ve EVER been qualified.
I’d bet I never WILL be!


Posted October 14th by chiarizio
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I'm definitely not qualified to tell you what being normal feels like.

I'll also point out that drugs seem to only give solutions to imaginary problems.

Posted October 14th by Xhin
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Xhin
 

I go through depression and crippling anxiety completely vanilla and it's not fun. So if you're going through that then I'm genuinely sorry to hear it and I can relate.

Posted October 14th by I killed Mufasa
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@Xhin:
I'll also point out that drugs seem to only give solutions to imaginary problems.

My experience is emphatically counter to that.
I will say that self-prescribing may just make things worse;
and drugs without counseling, or at least monitoring, may be much less benefit than you would hope.

Posted October 15th by chiarizio
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I'll also point out that drugs seem to only give solutions to imaginary problems.


If this is true, it's fine by me. I'm not looking for it to be a solution for me. I'm under no illusions about the fact that I need to do the work myself.

I go through depression and crippling anxiety completely vanilla and it's not fun. So if you're going through that then I'm genuinely sorry to hear it and I can relate.


Thank you. I'm glad that you're still around.

I will say that self-prescribing may just make things worse; and drugs without counseling, or at least monitoring, may be much less benefit than you would hope.


I understand. Thank you for the advice.

Posted October 15th by Hideous Destructor
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