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09/11/2001 WE REMEMBER
My girlfriend has been diagnosed with cancer
Posted: Posted October 2nd, 2019 by Smiling Apple
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It does seem a bit silly to post this on here. But I've known a lot of you since I was a kid and this feels like a big thing not to share.

My beautiful, kind, lovely girlfriend has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She's only 34. We don't know the stage yet. We just know that it's grade 3 and it's reached the lymph nodes. She'll need chemotherapy and surgery, though we don't know in what order yet. I'm still optimistic about the future. I think we will get through this, but it will obviously be difficult.

The biggest shock has been just how kind and generous everyone has been. Friends who I never really considered that close suddenly find the time to go for a drink with you and offer everything they can. It's shown a side to everyone I never knew they had.

Anyway, has anyone had someone close to them go through this? Any advice on how to deal with it or how to help?

Just thought I'd share.

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Anyway, has anyone had someone close to them go through this?

My best friend right now is going through stomach cancer. He was diagnosed a few months back with it. I was told that it's stage 4 so they started on chemo immediately. Lately he tells me he can barely get out of bed because he's too fatigued and he hardly has an appetite for anything. It's like a vicious cycle where he can't muster strength to eat and not eating gives him no strength. Lately in our texts he is becoming alarmingly pessimistic and he recently told me that he wants to give me a prized piece of his gaming collection to me because he doesn't have the energy to keep things. I offered to pay for it. I'm quite scared for him and I keep trying to be a positive presence in his life. He's only just turned 29 last month and is 3 weeks younger than myself.

Good luck to you and your girlfriend. Just do your best to be positive for her.

Edited October 2nd, 2019 by Fox Forever
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I'm so sorry to hear that. 29 is so young. The fatigue and the loss of appetite are due to the chemo, which should pass. But stage 4 must be so hard to deal with. I don't know what I would do if I was told it was stage 4. Really wishing the best for you and your friend mate.

I used to think cancer was just a fact of life and that something had to get us eventually. But it can get people so young and it's so unfair. It's a horrible thing and the treatment is so cruel. I hope future generations find some way to beat it.

Posted October 2nd, 2019 by Smiling Apple
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Sorry to hear about that, SA. At least medical treatments have progressed a lot since the 90s/00s.

Any advice on how to deal with it or how to help?


Short-term fasting is apparently a good adjunct therapy -- improves the efficacy of chemotherapy and promotes autophagy (which is usually (but not always) helpful at tumor suppression due to hormonal signals).
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6530042/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6257056/
Me being me, I'd recommend a ketogenic diet but the evidence there is somewhat more mixed:
https://cancerandmetabolism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40170-018-0180-9 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5842847/
Another thing worth researching is the FOXO3 gene. Downregulation of FOXO3 is associated with tumorigenesis and upregulation with apoptosis and overall longevity. Pretty much anything inside the mTor complex is worth researching however due to its influence on cell proliferation and autophagy:



Based on this, the diabetes drug metformin should be useful, and indeed there's a good bit of evidence supporting that in clinical studies.

In general, if you're going to go down scientific rabbit holes, if they mention mice you can pretty much disregard the study -- mice have entirely different lipolytic/lipogenetic systems that run somewhat backwards to our own.

Posted October 2nd, 2019 by Xhin
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Xhin
Full speed ahead

Don't know you that well, though we have talked a few times, but sorry to hear this and hope all goes well with treatment.

Don't really have any adevice. I lost a grandmother to cancer when I was 3, another got it and treatment successfully erradicated it but again I was so young when it happened. A colleague at one of the schools I work at has been diagnosed, keep trying to be positive for her. She's the kind of person who would prefer people don't make a fuss so kinda just trying to be normal around her and just be supportive whenever she decided to talk about it. She starts four weeks of treatment this week so fingers crossed they can help her.

I second your sentiment that hopefully one day we have better ways of treating it so that future generations don't have to suffer.

Posted October 2nd, 2019 by Moonray
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I am sorry to hear that mate. 2 of my friends both had cancer and started dating when they started their chemo.

They are now happily engaged with two little ones. I can see if they would be willing to share their ecperiences with you and your GF.

Posted October 2nd, 2019 by S.o.h.
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S.o.h.
 

So sorry to hear this, SA. I wish you two the best.

Posted October 2nd, 2019 by poptart!
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That sucks, and I'm sorry to hear about it. Let us know how things go. We're here for you.

Posted October 3rd, 2019 by EN
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EN

God, I'm so sorry. I know it may just sound like platitudes but I really wish y'all the best and I hope y'all can beat it.

Posted October 3rd, 2019 by Ursa Aeris
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Thank you everyone. I really appreciate all your comments.

She's the kind of person who would prefer people don't make a fuss so kinda just trying to be normal around her and just be supportive whenever she decided to talk about it.

Yeah my girlfriend is the same. She'd much rather everything carry on as normal and nobody make a big deal out of it. I think because that reminds her that it is a big deal. Same goes for me. Right now we seem to be dealing with it by making a joke out of it as much as we can. Can't see a better way of dealing with it. Getting down about it doesn't seem to help in any way.

Posted October 3rd, 2019 by Smiling Apple
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Thank you for sharing, SA. I'm really sorry. I remember when you first posted about your girlfriend and kind she is. I think just being there for her, staying optimistic but realistic for her, listening to her, not forcing her to talk about it or "confront" it, being as sweet and romantic as usual (showing her that you're not taking her for granted), and helping her with daily chores/practical things as they get more tedious (keeping track of doctor's appts) are ways to be helpful. It sounds like you're doing just that.

Posted October 3rd, 2019 by Ophelia
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