Posted: Posted July 29th by Mona
Hello everyone. I'm going to make this short (as possible).
I'll try to not to succumb to the unwarranted self importance some on staff have come to recognize.
I've been trolling GTX0 (on and off) since its inception. In December 2016, I discovered the leaked password list. I was responsible for impersonating numerous members' accounts.
I saw (at that time) that Knuckles had been banned under controversial circumstances. I used the opportunity and started fueling the arguments with a bunch of usernames / proxies while using the list to impersonate users.
At one point it seemed like they were looking at four or five different people (including Knuckles) as suspects and I was enjoying the "whodunnit" I had created. I figured I had been gone so long (and was never really a significant part of this community) that my obscurity would protect me from suspicion.
I wasn't "the other autism." If anyone remembers, there was an individual masquerading as a friend / representative of Knuckles (using variations of the name "autism" / "autist"). I had no involvement with them.
After Knuckles was unbanned around 12/25 - 1/1/17, there were still many users who believed he was responsible for the impersonations.
I wanted to make sure he wouldn't be blamed. I sent him this - although, I couldn't resist making it into another "game."
I told him (using Axem Great Water's account) that if he went to this thread, he would find something there that "put the smoking gun in someone else's hands." It was a troll I had posted years ago. The "smoking gun" were the first edits (made in November). The post contained the names of real people (whose names I was using) and I had removed them, and used the list to edit one of prince of pain's posts (which mentioned the names).
I figured that after staff saw I had "returned" they would immediately connect things.
Indeed - in short order, my home I.P. was re-banned.
I expected them to make a public announcement clearing Knuckles. This didn't happen. It's probably because they didn't want to reward me with more attention.
I really should have done this a long time ago. Today I came back and tried to start another fire with a bunch of alt names.
During the course of it I contacted Knuckles. He was personally familiar with something I had posted, and expressed that he was uncomfortable at the implication that I had been stalking him.
I hadn't been (well, unless you count all of the cryptic and in one case threatening messages).
I wanted him to know I wasn't actually trying to hurt him (or anyone) for real. Originally I had been planning to keep going after that, but when he wrote back it made me feel weird. There was something about direct, up front communication with someone I had essentially been harassing for well over a year that made me face how stupid, thoughtless and nasty all of this is.
Here are some of the names I've used (in no particular order):
"Fr. Peter Hans Kolvenbach"
"S----JCP" [irl friend whose name i stupidly appropriated]
"J---- R--tur3" [irl friend whose name i stupidly appropriated]
"M---e M---ntain" [irl friend whose name i stupidly appropriated]
"R----l M-zer" [irl friend whose name i stupidly appropriated]
"Anthony Gagliardi" [that one's just random]
"King of Queens"
"Random Name Troll"
I'm sure staff remember others.
I've used more than I can remember.
I discovered the original GT in 2002 (I was about 10). I loved it. There was a sense of freedom that separated it from every other message board. You could be anyone / any number of personas among seemingly thousands in this enormous labyrinth. No one saw when you logged in / who you were / what you'd posted (unless they found it!).
It was a community with its own internal politics, dramas and scandals, and all of that made it an escape for a child who felt powerless in their daily life.
And that's why I started trolling. I was angry and frustrated that it wasn't like GameTalk.
Every change (mainly things like "newest replies") was aggravating to me, and I felt the staff / admins had strayed from what made the site so precious to my childhood.
That's the "charitable" explanation - and it's genuine. But I also liked the sense of power I got from the games I was playing. It was thrill, feeling like some "master criminal" from the safety of my bedroom.
It's pathetic. At 25 I was using GTX0 for same childish escape fantasies that I had indulged at 10-14.
I'm sorry for the people I've inconvenienced and the people I've hurt or made uncomfortable. I'm not (as some have understandably concluded) a sociopath - just a troubled fool.
I'm going to stop coming here and try to build a better life and a better me.
I fully expect to be banned (permanently).
I have no objection to this. As I explained to Knuckles, I don't think it's healthy for me to keep going here anyway.
I would like this post (if possible) to remain so as to ensure everyone knows that I and I alone was responsible for everything admitted herein. Among the results of my activity was a lot of unnecessary distrust sown between users, and I'd like to put all of that to rest.
I made another mock account (targeting Knuckles) one to two days ago (it's near the top of the users if you go to "Send an alert.") I've asked Xhin and Null to get rid of it.
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