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WARNING: Mature content possible. Proceed with caution.
Did anyone watch the X-Files season premiere today?
Posted: Posted January 4th by Cetasaurus

I’m one of those dumbass trash-nerd losers who owns an “I want to believe” poster and sets their ringtone to the X Files theme song – and holy mother of God incarnate this was one of the worst pieces of garbage television I’ve ever willfully endured. Can someone back me up on this? Super crossed right now; don’t know if I believe what I’m seeing.

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There are 11 Replies

Now I’m trying to stress-eat my way out of this disappointment. Soon I’ll pass out in a post-upset fatigue.

Goodnight GT. Take it easy.

Posted January 4th by Cetasaurus
Cetasaurus
Formerly KM8

and holy mother of God incarnate this was one of the worst pieces of garbage television I’ve ever willfully endured


Agree 100%. Was VERY disappointed.

Posted January 7th by chiefsonny

is it a reboot or continuation?

Posted January 7th by tnu
tnu

Thanks for backing me up, Chief. I honestly couldn't believe that episode was allowed to happen, like, does the show not have a single editor?

And it's a continuation, I think?

Posted January 7th by Cetasaurus
Cetasaurus
Formerly KM8

So my parents took me to a dinner party last night to show me off to their rich friends (there's an inside joke among my siblings and me that we're trophy children – it's not as bad as that maybe sounds), and I was introduced to some old doctor guy that they know from something. I started talking about how I got abducted by aliens a few nights ago, as you do when you're autistic and hate both dinner parties and small talk, I guess.

I explained how I woke up on Thursday and noticed my watch was exactly half an hour off. I didn't reset it right away, and it remained exactly half an hour off for another 24 hours. I then reset it, and it has since remained at exactly the correct time, so I can conclude that the time loss had nothing to do with the battery dying or with the watch having a predictable glitch somehow.

So obviously, I'd been abducted by aliens – that's the only logical explanation that accounts for the missing time. In addition to my watch being off, I found a strange bug bite on my lower back/side area that same Thursday morning. This wasn't too strange, although I definitely didn't have it before I went to sleep, and I usually only get bit when I'm outside.

At this point, the old guy looks fascinated and says, "Wait, on your lower back? Can you show me where you were bitten?"

I'm thinking to myself, "Alright doc, you asked," and I pointed to where I could feel it.

The guy looks at where I'm pointing, looks back to me with wide eyes, and says, "That is where I enter with a needle to harvest stem cells from the iliac crest."

I'm like, "Sorry, what?"

So he explains to me that he specializes in regenerative therapy. You harvest the stem cells from one part of the patient, and put them near the damaged cartilage, muscle, tendon, bone – really anything that you want to regrow! The stem cells will differentiate into the cells to which they're adjacent.

We spent a good chunk of the night talking about stem cells and developing conspiracy theories about what the aliens needed mine for.

I'm gonna write Chris Carter and tell him that Dr. Williams and I can take over the X-Files now.

Posted January 7th by Cetasaurus
Cetasaurus
Formerly KM8

Your story was more interesting and entertaining then the new X Files episode.

Posted January 7th by chiefsonny

Haha thank you Chief.

Posted January 7th by Cetasaurus
Cetasaurus
Formerly KM8

The doctor is in on it.

Posted January 7th by S.o.h.
S.o.h.
 

Did he give me a false lead? I thought I'd found a confidant, but SOH might be right...

Posted January 7th by Cetasaurus
Cetasaurus
Formerly KM8

He's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Run away.

Posted January 7th by S.o.h.
S.o.h.
 

Twin Peaks fanboy for life- couldn't care less about this shit

Posted January 18th by MarvaIo
MarvaIo
 
Reply to: Did anyone watch the X-Files season premiere today?

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